Lately Ive come to realize my obsession with the unattainable. This is weird because theres a lot out there that would be very easily accomplished for me, yet time and again I set the bar a little too high so that I am destined to fall. Im not sure if this is a good or bad thing yet but it sure is making me a mess.
Only time will tell
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
Sunday, May 3, 2009
A million places at once
I feel like I haven't wrote in here in a while and I just take advantage of everyone elses blogs and give you nothing in return. Well I have been very busy lately! trying to split myself between a bunch of different projects, work, friends, bike clubs, the PBMA, and finally myself. So here I am without a moment of calm on a rainy evening that I didn't have to spend working outside which always makes me so much more relaxed.
Honestly I've just been trying to better myself through all of the above time consumptions. Its brought focus to my life surprisingly. I'm on the fast track to being able to go to Worlds this year and I'm focused on getting my taxes all paid off. All of this while working my ass off each and every day to make a little more than a semi-lazy
Justin would be making. Worlds is most definitely all that my 2009 is focused upon and pretty much what I make most of my decisions based upon.
Unfortunately I have to part with a few things to realize this focus in my life. My beautiful orange Bomber Pro track bike will be for sale at this weekends swap or EBay if it doesn't sell. Ive also been concentrating on bettering my diet so I am trying once again to drop soda and disgusting foods from my diet. So far so good.
But we all know how I love lists, they let you take a glimpse into the way I think, so here's another updated one as to what my somewhat short term goals are at this point:
- Keep up the amount of work I do during the day and keep days off to a minimum
- Keep spending to a minimum to save as much money as I can for various important ventures
- Kicking the soda habit saves money! Keep with it Justin!
- The PBMA is gaining some ground in the right direction and I like being responsible for it, it helps me feel like I'm doing something positive for everyone.
I think that's it... oh! Thank you to all of my close friends who have been here for me recently. Nothing is really wrong but having you all there is just comforting and makes all of my endeavours easier.
Honestly I've just been trying to better myself through all of the above time consumptions. Its brought focus to my life surprisingly. I'm on the fast track to being able to go to Worlds this year and I'm focused on getting my taxes all paid off. All of this while working my ass off each and every day to make a little more than a semi-lazy
Justin would be making. Worlds is most definitely all that my 2009 is focused upon and pretty much what I make most of my decisions based upon.
Unfortunately I have to part with a few things to realize this focus in my life. My beautiful orange Bomber Pro track bike will be for sale at this weekends swap or EBay if it doesn't sell. Ive also been concentrating on bettering my diet so I am trying once again to drop soda and disgusting foods from my diet. So far so good.
But we all know how I love lists, they let you take a glimpse into the way I think, so here's another updated one as to what my somewhat short term goals are at this point:
- Keep up the amount of work I do during the day and keep days off to a minimum
- Keep spending to a minimum to save as much money as I can for various important ventures
- Kicking the soda habit saves money! Keep with it Justin!
- The PBMA is gaining some ground in the right direction and I like being responsible for it, it helps me feel like I'm doing something positive for everyone.
I think that's it... oh! Thank you to all of my close friends who have been here for me recently. Nothing is really wrong but having you all there is just comforting and makes all of my endeavours easier.
Sunday, March 15, 2009
Ruining my symmetry!
So last weekend was a little rough and tumble at the Crucifixed after party
I was a little drunk (a lot) and at one point someone pointed out that I was bleeding from my nose. At the time I just went with it because I was having a good time as seen below:
Well a few sober days later I realized that the cut that I received, although small, was directly on top of a freckle that I have on my face.
No big deal right?
NO!
This freckle is part of a key number of freckles that although not noticeable until you look at them closely, form a perfect triangle on my face. It adds to my character and is subliminally pleasing to the eye haha.
see:
I have never been so worried about accidentally picking a scab so bad in my entire life, with freckle preservation in mind the entire time of course. As of currently the scab is gone and I cant quite tell how this will heal but things are looking bright for my symmetry.
I was a little drunk (a lot) and at one point someone pointed out that I was bleeding from my nose. At the time I just went with it because I was having a good time as seen below:
Well a few sober days later I realized that the cut that I received, although small, was directly on top of a freckle that I have on my face.
No big deal right?
NO!
This freckle is part of a key number of freckles that although not noticeable until you look at them closely, form a perfect triangle on my face. It adds to my character and is subliminally pleasing to the eye haha.
see:
I have never been so worried about accidentally picking a scab so bad in my entire life, with freckle preservation in mind the entire time of course. As of currently the scab is gone and I cant quite tell how this will heal but things are looking bright for my symmetry.
Monday, February 16, 2009
Spring: The flowering of douchebag
PLEASE BE ADVISED!
This blog will most definitely contain me tooting my own horn and complaining about people that piss me off. If you feel like that is the last thing you wanna read then simply click on something else, I advise maybe something like www.gorillamask.net
______________________________________________________
Now that that is out of the way
Im gonna begin by saying that the mercier your mom bought you for Christmas with the set of velocity wheels that match your shoes is a joke to me first off. Now dont get me wrong my bikes match very well but they dont look like a rainbow threwup all over them after a heavy night of drinking Sparks and eating gushers. There are ways you can match a bike while being subtle about it. Your obvious disregard for the fact there is 3 colors to a color field makes it a fucking joke that you attend an art school. Oh I forgot that you are all so different and unique, so why is that when i pull up to 215 S. Broad for a delivery I see 8 Fuji tracks, Velocity flip flop hubs out the whazoo, 15 surlys, and too many shitty conversions to have time to count. I have this thing where if you are gonna do something you should absolutely do it right or not at all. I have 5 completely unique bikes, no one else besides some absolutely absurd coincidence, has the same bikes as me. I take time thinking about what looks nice on each and waht would totally make it too over the top taking into account awht every asshole like you rides to school each day so that i can stay clear from it. NOw let me give you some idea of how stupid your spending is, I spent just about a grand on my work bike in order to get it street worthy which was way before i made her indestructable. guess what? you can do the same! no im not lying! Its called ebay and theres plenty of nice parts that go for close to half of what they go for normally just because some roadie doesnt like a scratch on their cinelli drop bars. Im urgin you to be unique here! its what you want right? You can do it for cheap too!
Secondly, I ride my bike for a living each and every weekday from 9-5. The last thing I need during my ride into town in the morning is your punk ass speeding past me about 5 inches away. YOu look like an asshole with your undergeared track bike (mind you for some sick skids with your other track bike loving friends) spinnign your way out to get to the red light to almost kill yoursself as you cut off 3 cars to get there. I have no fucking clue who youre trying to impress but youve actually gone and done the opposite! If you were any good at riding that thing you wouldnt be able to even tell you almost got killed. But bakc to the fact that you buzzed on past me at 9 in the morning going who knows how fast to get to you part time job slinging coffee to businessmen. If i so choose I could destroy you on my bike, literally destroy you, I see things 8 steps ahead of what your brain can comprehend when im on my bike through traffic. That is why i choose to ride a bike with no brakes (I cant even attach any!) its because I am comfortable with the way I ride and being within traffic at 3pm on chestnut street as all the assholes forget crosswalks are on the corners. My SLOW cadence on a bike is enough to run you out the water, but when im riding at a slow pace into town theres a lot of reasons im not goign fast. Maybe ill get work back the way i came so i may have to turn around, maybe i can accumalate some jobs as i make the slow roll into town. These reasons dont matter, what matters is that you shouldnt and cant show off to me.
I believe I got a lot out there, theres more but ill save it for another time. Oh and if you got this far and are thinking that "hey justin youre an asshole" well you shouldve read the fucking disclaimer huh?
This blog will most definitely contain me tooting my own horn and complaining about people that piss me off. If you feel like that is the last thing you wanna read then simply click on something else, I advise maybe something like www.gorillamask.net
______________________________________________________
Now that that is out of the way
Im gonna begin by saying that the mercier your mom bought you for Christmas with the set of velocity wheels that match your shoes is a joke to me first off. Now dont get me wrong my bikes match very well but they dont look like a rainbow threwup all over them after a heavy night of drinking Sparks and eating gushers. There are ways you can match a bike while being subtle about it. Your obvious disregard for the fact there is 3 colors to a color field makes it a fucking joke that you attend an art school. Oh I forgot that you are all so different and unique, so why is that when i pull up to 215 S. Broad for a delivery I see 8 Fuji tracks, Velocity flip flop hubs out the whazoo, 15 surlys, and too many shitty conversions to have time to count. I have this thing where if you are gonna do something you should absolutely do it right or not at all. I have 5 completely unique bikes, no one else besides some absolutely absurd coincidence, has the same bikes as me. I take time thinking about what looks nice on each and waht would totally make it too over the top taking into account awht every asshole like you rides to school each day so that i can stay clear from it. NOw let me give you some idea of how stupid your spending is, I spent just about a grand on my work bike in order to get it street worthy which was way before i made her indestructable. guess what? you can do the same! no im not lying! Its called ebay and theres plenty of nice parts that go for close to half of what they go for normally just because some roadie doesnt like a scratch on their cinelli drop bars. Im urgin you to be unique here! its what you want right? You can do it for cheap too!
Secondly, I ride my bike for a living each and every weekday from 9-5. The last thing I need during my ride into town in the morning is your punk ass speeding past me about 5 inches away. YOu look like an asshole with your undergeared track bike (mind you for some sick skids with your other track bike loving friends) spinnign your way out to get to the red light to almost kill yoursself as you cut off 3 cars to get there. I have no fucking clue who youre trying to impress but youve actually gone and done the opposite! If you were any good at riding that thing you wouldnt be able to even tell you almost got killed. But bakc to the fact that you buzzed on past me at 9 in the morning going who knows how fast to get to you part time job slinging coffee to businessmen. If i so choose I could destroy you on my bike, literally destroy you, I see things 8 steps ahead of what your brain can comprehend when im on my bike through traffic. That is why i choose to ride a bike with no brakes (I cant even attach any!) its because I am comfortable with the way I ride and being within traffic at 3pm on chestnut street as all the assholes forget crosswalks are on the corners. My SLOW cadence on a bike is enough to run you out the water, but when im riding at a slow pace into town theres a lot of reasons im not goign fast. Maybe ill get work back the way i came so i may have to turn around, maybe i can accumalate some jobs as i make the slow roll into town. These reasons dont matter, what matters is that you shouldnt and cant show off to me.
I believe I got a lot out there, theres more but ill save it for another time. Oh and if you got this far and are thinking that "hey justin youre an asshole" well you shouldve read the fucking disclaimer huh?
Sunday, February 8, 2009
I need a reminder! 2009 a goal!
In the past I have usually done this on paper and hung it in my room but I believe this year I will do it on here 1st and maybe put it on paper later haha. But anyways Its just a list to remind myself to stay focused from start to finish the whole year long and i figured I would share with everyone this time around
Goals for 09!
1. Make it to the Worlds in Tokyo in September (may even be during my birthday too!)
-Need my passport to go
-Need to take off from work as soon as their dates are finalized
-Need to save a buttload of money as well, I'm thinking close to $2500 to be safe
2. Get my Drivers License
-Need to get physical, arrange doctors appointment
-Retake permit test $30
-Learn to drive
-Take drivers test
-Get car?
3. Finish the pursuit bike and buy no more bikes no matter how pretty they may be
-Needs Tubular 650 tire to be glued on $70
-Cranks, preferably campagnolo record new stuff. Perhaps at the swap for cheap cheap cheap $200
-Chain $30
-Seat guts, fat john has a seatpost still that i can still the guts out of?
-Pedals...
4. Ride bmx more! Its good upper body exercise so i don't become a fatty with nice legs haha
-Fix up the bmx bike I bought
-Flatland in the hockey rink around the corner?
-Street rat!
5. Make more close friends.
-Be more open to leaving the house more
-Call more often
-hmmmmm....
6. Become better at managing my money, in times like these my spending can not be frivolous.
-Pay off IRS for 2007 and 2008, setup payment plan for 08 taxes as soon as I file.
-Cook more for breakfast and dinner, maybe even pack lunch when possible
-Work a lot harder, at least 20 jobs a day no matter what!
-Remember you can only ride 1 bike at a time so having 9 of them is overload
7. Let all of my close friends and family know I love them because I feel as though I don't show it enough.
I need to adhere to these to make 2009 a more productive, happy, and fun year.
oh and more boats for sure!
Goals for 09!
1. Make it to the Worlds in Tokyo in September (may even be during my birthday too!)
-Need my passport to go
-Need to take off from work as soon as their dates are finalized
-Need to save a buttload of money as well, I'm thinking close to $2500 to be safe
2. Get my Drivers License
-Need to get physical, arrange doctors appointment
-Retake permit test $30
-Learn to drive
-Take drivers test
-Get car?
3. Finish the pursuit bike and buy no more bikes no matter how pretty they may be
-Needs Tubular 650 tire to be glued on $70
-Cranks, preferably campagnolo record new stuff. Perhaps at the swap for cheap cheap cheap $200
-Chain $30
-Seat guts, fat john has a seatpost still that i can still the guts out of?
-Pedals...
4. Ride bmx more! Its good upper body exercise so i don't become a fatty with nice legs haha
-Fix up the bmx bike I bought
-Flatland in the hockey rink around the corner?
-Street rat!
5. Make more close friends.
-Be more open to leaving the house more
-Call more often
-hmmmmm....
6. Become better at managing my money, in times like these my spending can not be frivolous.
-Pay off IRS for 2007 and 2008, setup payment plan for 08 taxes as soon as I file.
-Cook more for breakfast and dinner, maybe even pack lunch when possible
-Work a lot harder, at least 20 jobs a day no matter what!
-Remember you can only ride 1 bike at a time so having 9 of them is overload
7. Let all of my close friends and family know I love them because I feel as though I don't show it enough.
I need to adhere to these to make 2009 a more productive, happy, and fun year.
oh and more boats for sure!
Thursday, February 5, 2009
Knee woes
Currently my knee feels horrible. Almost like when I fell on it and it swelled up so much so I couldnt move it.
The thing is I dont know why.
I can only assume its from hustling at work all week, which is actually why I am real happy for some reason. So its only very ironic that what has made me happy is injuring me in some way. I look forward to my check in 2 weeks though because it should be up to par with a regular week haha.
20
31
21
24
so far thats 96 this week and I only need 20 tomorrow to meet my goals for this past week
maybe ill set a higher goal next week and see how that goes, I know i can push myself a little more than I am now. hmmmm maybe a goal for the pay period? 250? hmmm
But for this to happen my knee needs to man up and stop hurting
Bright side! Tomorrows friday!!!
Poker
Beers
Friends
I cant really remember the last time I was so excited for a weekend
Happy :)
The thing is I dont know why.
I can only assume its from hustling at work all week, which is actually why I am real happy for some reason. So its only very ironic that what has made me happy is injuring me in some way. I look forward to my check in 2 weeks though because it should be up to par with a regular week haha.
20
31
21
24
so far thats 96 this week and I only need 20 tomorrow to meet my goals for this past week
maybe ill set a higher goal next week and see how that goes, I know i can push myself a little more than I am now. hmmmm maybe a goal for the pay period? 250? hmmm
But for this to happen my knee needs to man up and stop hurting
Bright side! Tomorrows friday!!!
Poker
Beers
Friends
I cant really remember the last time I was so excited for a weekend
Happy :)
Monday, February 2, 2009
"I"
I am once again taking a step back to observe myself from afar. But this time around I can say im not so upset with what I see. Im finally for this first time in a long time happy with a large percentage of my life. This sort of thing has a sort of trickle down effect on everything that I do. Theres been a lot that has gotten me down and kept me down for so long and its like a large weight has been lifted off of my shoulders.
I need to realize though how i came to be in that situation so I can not let myself get back to that lowest of lows.
I have been more concerned with myself recently than concerning myself with all the troubles of my closest friends, Ive realized that no matter how much you will ever care for someone they will need to do what they think is best for themselves in the end. This will happen regardless of any words or actions on my part. All my life people who i love and care for have hurt themselves and me without realizing it and thinking everythign is ok. Well im simply done caring too much, its stressful and depressing when you are constantly worrying yourself over someone who has independent thoughts and actions of their own. Like I said, you can only hope that they will have a moment of clarity and realize no one "real" is around to pick them up off the ground because of the distance theyve put between each other.
I am now me oriented, how can I improve myself?
I need more people who are "real" to surround myself with, people who can conversate on a level beyond "i cant remember how many beers i had last night" but can also relate to me when theres just that day where you need to party your face off. People who understand being human and having human emotions. People who have stories to tell and are willing to be there with you to make new ones. People who have those days where watching movies and lounging are necessary but who also have those days where there are no walls in this universe that could contain them and being face to face with the outdoors couldnt feel any better.
I am drawing more often, I am feeling the call of a good walk through the city full of conversation, I am looking to be more action oriented and alive.
Just remember I need all of you, you all have played a instrumental role in the building that is my life. I just need to build a little higher. Be there for me?
I need to realize though how i came to be in that situation so I can not let myself get back to that lowest of lows.
I have been more concerned with myself recently than concerning myself with all the troubles of my closest friends, Ive realized that no matter how much you will ever care for someone they will need to do what they think is best for themselves in the end. This will happen regardless of any words or actions on my part. All my life people who i love and care for have hurt themselves and me without realizing it and thinking everythign is ok. Well im simply done caring too much, its stressful and depressing when you are constantly worrying yourself over someone who has independent thoughts and actions of their own. Like I said, you can only hope that they will have a moment of clarity and realize no one "real" is around to pick them up off the ground because of the distance theyve put between each other.
I am now me oriented, how can I improve myself?
I need more people who are "real" to surround myself with, people who can conversate on a level beyond "i cant remember how many beers i had last night" but can also relate to me when theres just that day where you need to party your face off. People who understand being human and having human emotions. People who have stories to tell and are willing to be there with you to make new ones. People who have those days where watching movies and lounging are necessary but who also have those days where there are no walls in this universe that could contain them and being face to face with the outdoors couldnt feel any better.
I am drawing more often, I am feeling the call of a good walk through the city full of conversation, I am looking to be more action oriented and alive.
Just remember I need all of you, you all have played a instrumental role in the building that is my life. I just need to build a little higher. Be there for me?
Sunday, December 14, 2008
A reminder of the past
Today I listened to Rumbleseat for the first time in a while.
I forgot how much I love listening to this album
I used to have it on my old computer but I never transfered it over
Now my old computer is dead and now no Rumbleseat
I suppose eventually I will buy it from here...
http://www.noidearecords.com/bands/releases/rumbleseat_discography.php
But its Christmas time and I gotta buy gifts
This album reminds me of living with Donovan and Yokev
Such good memories...
I forgot how much I love listening to this album
I used to have it on my old computer but I never transfered it over
Now my old computer is dead and now no Rumbleseat
I suppose eventually I will buy it from here...
http://www.noidearecords.com/bands/releases/rumbleseat_discography.php
But its Christmas time and I gotta buy gifts
This album reminds me of living with Donovan and Yokev
Such good memories...
Thursday, December 4, 2008
I suppose
It has been quite some time since ive posted in here. I can name a few reasons why, getting hired at Timecycle has changed my life a whole lot. Im so much more happy with myself now that I have a normal sleep schedule, interesting days at work, and most of all I am much less tired.
I cant really say Ive been productive at all besides just working my ass off and loving my dog.
Oh and I finally won an alleycat recently, sooooo happy!
I think pictures are much better
I cant really say Ive been productive at all besides just working my ass off and loving my dog.
Oh and I finally won an alleycat recently, sooooo happy!
I think pictures are much better
Monday, August 25, 2008
The Winds of Change
Its starting to happen everyone, its all starting to change for the better. September 08 shall be a very memorable month for me with various nonsense going on. First up is the move to a different company, timecycle. Ive put trying to get a job there on the back burner for a long time and recently I put my best effort in trying to get a job there just so that I can feel secure when january rolls around and all the good work at one hour dries up. This past friday I was asked to work for Timecycle and of course I said yes, it may mean a paycut at first but in the long run it is beneficial to my cause. Secondly is the Scumbag Cup, this is my first real attempt at throwing a race on my own and its a huge one. The Scumbag Cup consists of 6 races in 2 days and you can only figure it takes a lot of preparation to setup something like that. Lastly September involves my 21st birthday which I know is going to be epic on my liver.
Honestly these arent really changes excpet the first one but they are little steps towards change. I would like to have more responsibility in the messsenger world, ya know more contacts and more friends who would be able to pull through for me when i need it. This messenger community is a lot bigger and a lot more thoughtful than most people would think and I wanna be a bigger part of that. As for being 21 it just helps in my socialization area, I am a very shy person and hopefully having the ability to join people in these different social situations will help me grow as a person.
I believe that this will be a constant theme in my life for the next few years, change.
Honestly these arent really changes excpet the first one but they are little steps towards change. I would like to have more responsibility in the messsenger world, ya know more contacts and more friends who would be able to pull through for me when i need it. This messenger community is a lot bigger and a lot more thoughtful than most people would think and I wanna be a bigger part of that. As for being 21 it just helps in my socialization area, I am a very shy person and hopefully having the ability to join people in these different social situations will help me grow as a person.
I believe that this will be a constant theme in my life for the next few years, change.
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